A Very Clever Plan
by ExplodingWeekend
Summary: One that will eventually get Lily to fall madly in love with James Potter. One that we, Remus Lupin and Sirius Black, have personally designed. It is foolproof... we hope. James/Lily.
1. Prologue

A/N: Prologue. This will be continued! Pairings include James/Lily and maybe more if I get any suggestions. Reviews make my world go round! And round, and round, and round…

Let's begin!

Prologue:

"Look at them over there," James scowled, glaring at the table across from where he, Sirius, and Peter were sitting. "They look so… happy. I hate it."

Sirius rolled his eyes and slunk down lower in his seat. "Well, I hate being _here_. We're in the library, for Merlin's sake! Remind me, _please_, why we woke up at six in the morning to sit around in the library for two whole hours?"

"Because Remus, my _ex_-friend, is here on a date with Lily, my _ex_-love."

Sirius stared at James for a long time. "That's what this is about?" He heaved a dramatic sigh. "I turned down three girls to come here with you after you begged for half the night, and that's why?"

"…Yes?" James said, still glowering at Remus and Lily from across the library.

"No, James! No! That's so stupid! Remus, no offence to him, couldn't get a date if his life depended on it, and even if he stopped being oblivious and actually accepted one, he wouldn't betray you by going with Lily! Their only here to study for a Potions test or something."

"Oh, that. They actually study?"

"You know our Moony. Always…"

"Studious?"

Sirius shrugged. "I was going more for bookish."

"What about academic? Diligent?

"Industrious? Learned?"

James grinned, always one to accept a challenge. "Intellectual! Thoughtful! Smart!"

"Moony!" Both boys cried gleefully. James almost forgot that he was supposed to be brooding.

"You called?"

Sirius spun to face the person who had just joined their table and jumped up to greet him. "Moony, I missed you!" He wrapped his arms around Remus so tightly that a weaker being may have been strangled.

"What are you three up to?" Remus asked, trying to pry himself away from the ecstatic Black.

"It wasn't me, Moony, I swear!" Sirius shouted, still clutching at Remus. "It was all Peter's fault! That boy is evil, I tell you!" He pointed at the chubby boy who had remained quiet this whole time.

"You're a bad liar, Padfoot," Remus finally managed to pull himself away from Sirius, who went right back to where he had been sitting before. "I repeat: What are you doing here?"

James scoffed. "You don't own the library, Remus. We can come here to, you know."

Remus narrowed his eyes, and all three boys recoiled. An angry Moony was a scary Moony.

"S-Sorry," James squeaked out, sounding more or less like Peter usually did. "I mean…"

"You were looking for Lily, weren't you?" Remus asked, sounding exasperated.

"Y-Yeah…"

Remus heaved a sigh, sounding so dramatic that he probably learned it from Sirius. "Go get dinner, guys. I'll be down as soon as I finish packing up."

Peter nodded sharply and ran out the library door, happy to be out of the tense atmosphere. James and Sirius remained.

"I just," James started. "You know how it is Moony. I really like Lily."

He cast a nervous glance to where Lily was packing up her books, and was mildly distracted by the way her bright red hair fell over her shoulder just so.

He was so distracted that he almost missed the small smile that flickered over Remus's scarred face. "Yeah, I know. Go to dinner, James. I need to speak with Sirius. Don't forget we're working on the Marauders Map tonight, so don't come back to the room drunk or anything."

James wrinkled his brow, probably trying to say 'I know you guys are up to something, and I'm going to find out what'. Instead, he said, "Of course not Moony. Who do you think I am, Sirius Black?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "Please, I hope not. I don't think I can handle two of Sirius."

"You can't even handle one," Sirius winked flirtatiously at Remus, who hit him with a book. Hard.

"Go on, James," Sirius ground out, rubbing his head and glaring at Remus, who smiled back victoriously. "We'll only be a sec."

With one last glance at the two, James strode out of the library, hoping to catch sight of his true love/soul mate/soon-to-be-girlfriend, Lily Evans.


	2. Chapter 1

A/N: THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS! Remember, so far the only pairing is James and Lily, but I'll put in anything (as long as its not too cracky). If you want to see a favorite character appear, like Severus or Alice or maybe even Regulus, just specify and I'll see what I can do.

Please review! For every review I receive, a leprechaun riding a unicorn feeds hungry kittens rainbow juice. Doesn't that sound nice?

P.S. I know I said they are going to lunch in the last chapter, but please pretend that I actually wrote 'breakfast'. It would make me feel like less of an idiot.

Chapter One

Sirius leaned against the wooden library table casually as the last of the students piled out of the library for breakfast, leaving them alone.

"So what is it?" He asked Remus, who shifted uncomfortably. That got Sirius's attention: Remus was always confidant and stoic.

"Haven't you noticed that James is acting… stranger? Than usual, I mean?"

Sirius blinked, and suddenly he felt uncomfortable. How had he not noticed his best friend was acting different? But… other than the strange infatuation with that Evans girl…

_Oh_.

"It has to do with Lily, doesn't it?"

Remus smiled. "Very astute, Padfoot. You're right, I do think it has to do with her. I mean, he's been trying for years, but haven't you noticed his attentions are less… hormonally driven?"

"What are you saying, he's now in love with her?"

Both boys were silent for a while.

"Bloody 'ell, he is in love," Sirius whispered, leaning on the table once more, but this time for support. "Moony! Our Prongs is all grown up!"

"Hush, Padfoot, we need to be quiet."

Sirius was far past reason, though. "He's leaving me for a girl? How could he do this! I'm his best mate, Moony!" Sirius grabbed Remus by the shoulders and began to shake him. "Who will love me now, I'm… I'm… _friendless_!" He slung an arm across his face and sank into a seat.

Remus came to stand next to him and put a hand on Sirius's back, patting it lightly. He looked off at the bookcases thoughtfully.

"I just thought of something."

Sirius looked up, the twinkle back in his eye. "I knew I could count on you, Remus, my only friend in the world now that I've been so carelessly thrown aside like a piece of-"

"Ahem," Remus warned. "As I was saying, since James is obviously…"

"Hopeless? Desperate? Forlorn? Despairing? Past hope? Tragic?"

"What did you do, eat a thesaurus last night? What's with all the synonyms lately?"

Sirius shrugged. "I was bored so I went through your things. You should really lock them up better, you know. It only took me a minute to pick the lock."

Remus frowned. "You went through my things? Again? I told you last time not to do that ever again, don't you listen?!"

"James said you had chocolate frogs hidden in there."

"Well, don't listen to James, okay? Now, back to what I was saying…"

Sirius bounced excitedly in his chair. "Moony's got a plan, Moony's got a plan!"

"Yeah, now stop it. You're giving me a headache."

"Okay. So what is it?"

Remus moved to the chair across from Sirius and sat down. He folded his hands together and tried to look like he was… er, serious. No pun intended. "We're going to play a prank on Lily and James. One that will get them to fall in love with each other hopefully before the year ends."

Sirius grinned. "I like it. But… what are we going to do?"

"That's what you're here for. You know how I am with pranks."

"I know, I know," Sirius looked smug. "That's why you need me, the oh-so-wonderful Padfoot, to create an ingenious prank that is not only foolproof, but will also go undetected by James. And won't be messed up by fools like Peter."

"That's what foolproof means, Sirius. And stop being mean to Peter."

"What? I don't like that guy!"

"Whether we like it or not, James accepts Peter, and that means we do to."

"Ha! You said we!"

"No I didn't."

"Did!"

"I'm not doing this, I'm not that immature. Now, let's go down and eat, I'm starving."

Both boys got up from the table and grabbed their things before heading for the library door. Sirius slung an arm over Remus's shoulders.

"You know Moony, I'm proud of you."

"And why's that, Padfoot?"

"With all this planning pranks and stuff, you're on your way to becoming a fine Marauder. All you need to do now is flunk a class and get a girlfriend."

Remus chuckled. "Yeah, like that's ever going to happen."

"Aww, I'm sure you'll find someone to love you for your hideous bookish ways."

"…I was talking about flunking a class."

"Woops."


	3. Chapter 2

A/N: Oh, and I know a bunch of you probably want longer chapters, but for some reason it's kind of impossible for me to do that. I tried, I really did!

Thanks for the reviews! A lot of kittens received rainbow juice thanks to you. Please review again so more kittens-in-need can get rainbow juice!

On with the story…

Chapter Two

When Remus and Sirius walked into the Great Hall, they found James and Peter sitting at their usual spot. James was staring off into the distance somewhere, probably looking for Lily.

"Hey," Peter said, without looking up from his plate. "Why are you so late?"

"No reason," Sirius said. He cast a quick glance at James, who was still oblivious to they're presence, before leaning in and whispering, "Okay, we are going to let you in on a little plan. We're going to prank Lily and James, and need some help. Would you like in?"

"Would I!" Peter shouted ecstatically. James looked up.

"When did you two get here?"

Sirius shrugged. "Not too long ago. Was that a yes or a no, Peter?"

"A yes," the boy answered before returning his attention to eating.

James blinked. "What was that a yes to?"

"Whether or not he would like more eggs," Remus suggested, scooping a spoonful of eggs onto Peter's plate.

"Oh," James said. It wasn't exactly uncommon for Peter to say yes to more food. He went back to searching for Lily in the crowd of Hogwarts students.

Meanwhile, Sirius and Remus were having a whispered conversation.

"Why did we have to ask Peter to join us?" Sirius complained.

"Because Peter is James's friend too and would probably feel very left out if we didn't include him," Remus said logically, looking down at his plate of bacon.

When he felt Sirius's gaze on him, he continued. "Alright, we need him for the plan to work."

Sirius turned to his own food, content with that answer. "So what is our plan?"

"Merlin, Sirius, you came up with it!"

"I did? Oh, yeah, I did. When does it start?"

Remus took a deep breath. "Right now," he whispered back, getting up and walking across the Great Hall to where Lily and her friends were sitting.

"And so I was like, 'that's not a cat, that's a…" The girl sitting next to Lily trailed off from her story as Remus approached the table. "Um, Lils, I think someone's here for you."

Lily looked up at Remus and smiled. "Hello, Remus. What are you doing here?"

"Actually, I had a question for you." Remus ignored the glares the other girls at the table were giving him. Being a friend of James Potter didn't exactly make him liked by _everyone_.

"Okay, was it about the Defense against the Dark Arts essay?"

"Er… no. I was, well, I was wondering," Remus swore inwardly. Why was he so bad at this? "WouldyouliketogotoHogsmeadewithme?"

Lily blinked. "W-What?"

"Would you like to go to Hogsmeade with me? It's this weekend, and you see, Sirius was making fun of me because I've never actually been on a _date_ with anyone. So I told him I could probably get a date with you."

The girls were all silent, but at least they had stopped glaring. Lily finally cleared her throat. "So… Potter didn't put you up to this, did he?"

Remus laughed. "No, actually he doesn't know about it. And I'd rather prefer he didn't, because… well…"

Lily winced. "Yes, yes I know." She sighed. "Very well, I'll go to Hogsmeade with you, but _only_ as friends."

"Of course," Remus nodded. He waved goodbye and hurried back to his own table.

"Did you do it?" Sirius asked before he had even sat down.

"Yeah, but I hope this works."

Sirius snagged a sausage from Remus's plate and shoved it into his mouth. "I told you, we have to know if Evans likes Prongs before we do anything."

"You know, despite how disgusting that all sounded with your mouth full, that was pretty logical."

"What can I say? Logic is my middle name."

"No it's not."

"Okay… it's not. But it's not your middle name either!" Sirius stuck his tongue out childishly. Remus sighed.

"Okay, so after we discover Lily's true feelings for James, we…"

"Lock them in a broom closet." Sirius said confidently, grabbing another sausage from Remus's plate.

"That's idiotic! There's no way it will work! We need to get them… closer to each other somehow."

"A broom closet would do that."

"No." Remus paused to think. "Well, I'm sure we'll think of something. It's only Thursday, so we have one more day before my… date. I just hope James won't find out about it until after it's done and over with."

Sirius snickered. "I just want to see the look on his face when he learns _you_ got a date with Evans before he did."

"Merlin, I'm going to die," Remus gulped out. "Please, Sirius, don't let James find out. For the love of my life, don't let James find out!"

"Okay, I'll try."

"…I'm doomed."


	4. Chapter 3

A/N: Haha, I love you guys. Your reviews make me exceptionally happy. Seeing as the majority of your reviews contain the message 'UPDATE NOW OR DIE', I'll see if I can work out an update schedule.

So far I've been doing an update once a day, and I'll try to continue that. Unfortunately, this might have to go on hiatus if I don't finish it before next week, just to warn you guys!

ON WITH THE STORY!

Chapter 3

"Is something wrong with you, Moony?" James asked his friend during their Care of Magical Creatures class.

Remus shook his head. "Of course not, James. What gave you that idea?"

James made sure no one was listening before continuing. "The full moon is this weekend and…"

"It is?!" Remus looked frantic. "Merlin, how could I forget?!"

"Is there something important going on?"

"No!" Remus half-shouted. He slapped a hand over his mouth before continuing at a softer volume. "I mean, no. No, I just… forgot, is all."

"Huh. Well, you don't have anything to worry about; we'll be with you just like always." James flashed Remus his trademark grin before turning his attention back to the teacher.

Remus, however, was mentally slapping himself. For all that he considered himself smart, he could be really stupid sometimes. He had been so caught up in this Lily and James dilemma, he had forgotten his transformation was that Sunday. His plan for Monday would be completely ruined if he was stuck in the hospital wing.

He needed reinforcements.

Scanning the class for any possible volunteers, he stopped at Alice and Frank, who were sitting as close as they possibly could to each other. Normally, Remus would ignore this (PDA's were not his thing), but then he remembered that Alice was a friend of Lily's.

An idea struck him. A lot of Prefects were sick of Lily complaining about James during their meeting. Would they help him?

He made a mental list of people he could ask. There was Caradoc Dearborn, the Head Boy this year, who was probably tired of covering for Lily every time she hexed James.

Marlene McKinnon and Dorcas Meadowes would definitely help as well. They had frequently remarked to Remus how 'cute' Lily and James were when they fought. Remus had always found it hard not to roll his eyes at how strange girls were.

By the end of the class, he had written down almost a half a dozen names. Some of them were Prefects, but only those who were friends of Lily and wouldn't mind breaking a small rule on her behalf. They were, after all, pulling a prank.

Sirius was waiting for him outside the classroom. Instead of Care of Magical Creatures, which Remus and James took together, Sirius had Divination with Peter.

"Moony, thank goodness! I've been stuck reading Peter's tea leaves for the past hour!" Sirius tried to throw himself at Remus, who moved out of the way before he was tackled to the ground. Instead, James was unlucky enough to walk out of the classroom at the time.

"Ow! Sirius, you big lout, get off of me!"

"Aww, you're breaking my heart, Prongs!"

"And you're breaking my ribs!"

Remus chuckled and helped Sirius off of James, who was still muttering under his breath.

"Why don't you go and save us a seat in Potions, alright?" Remus suggested to James, who nodded and turned to leave. Once he was out of earshot, Remus dragged Sirius into the empty classroom.

"We need help."

Sirius looked confused, until Remus explained everything to him.

"I can't believe we forgot about the full moon!" Sirius said, slapping his forehead. "Stupid, stupid, stupid!"

Remus grabbed his wrist before he could cause any damage. "Stop doing that Sirius, you need all the brain cells you can get." He sighed. "Besides, this was both our faults."

"Are you okay Moony? Feeling dizzy? Feverish?" Sirius put a hand to Remus's forehead. "How many fingers am I holding up? Answer me!"

"Three, now get your hands off me. I have no idea where they've been since the last time you washed them."

"Silly Moony, I took a shower yesterday."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Was that before or after you went for a swim in the lake?"

"…After?" Sirius lied.

"That's what I thought." Remus rolled his eyes. "Anyways, I'm fine. It's not until Sunday, so I can still go on the date with Lily. Unfortunately, that will leave you to deal with James on Monday, unless you can manage to bring him to the hospital wing."

"Don't worry, Moony, I wouldn't let you deal with a jealous Prongs while you lie weak and vulnerable on a hospital bed."

Remus winced. "Unfortunately, if James is mad at me, he probably won't help me through the transformation. That means you and Peter will have to cover for him."

"Can do, will do. Don't worry."

"Must you keep saying that?"

"Yes, because you worry way too much for a teenage boy. Look, your hair is already turning gray!"

Remus tugged at a strand of dark blonde hair. "Really?"

"Yeah, and I'll bet you're going to have a heart attack before the age of forty."

Silence reigned for a second.

"That was a depressing thought."

Sirius laughed nervously and patted Remus on the back as an apology. "Sorry about that, I got carried away."

"If you didn't get carried away, I doubt you'd be who you are."

"Huh?"

Remus smiled furtively and opened the door. "Come one, we're going to be late for Potions."

Sirius sighed but walked through the open door anyway. "Boy do I hate Potions. That Slughorn is a real…" Sirius immediately began to babble, but Remus tuned him out, instead reflecting on the prank, his Transfiguration essay…

…And his upcoming date with Lily Evans.


	5. Chapter 4

A/N: Haha, I am so evil. Another chapter and I'm still putting off Remus and Lily's date. Don't worry, it will come soon enough!

Anyways, thanks again for the reviews! I'm so glad this so many people like this story!!

Enjoy~

Chapter 4

"Moooooneeeey…"

The four Marauders were at dinner. Remus was currently bent over his Ancient Runes book, trying to block out James's voice.

"Moony, Moony, Moony, Moony, Moony, Moony, Remus, Remus, Remus, Remus, Remus, Moony, Moo-"

"What, James?" Remus put down the textbook and glared at his bespectacled companion.

"I'm bored."

"…That's why you've been flinging bread crumbs at me for the past twenty minutes?"

"No, that was Sirius."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Of course it was Sirius," he said, looking over to the dark haired boy who was busy chatting with some Hufflepuff girl. "What is this really about?"

"I heard you got a date, Moony my boy," James smirked.

Remus froze. After recovering quickly, he put his textbook back in the pile of books he always carried with him. "Who told you that?"

"Peter."

"Ah," Remus sighed, as if that explained everything.

"Is it true?"

"Is what true?"

"Do you have a date, Moony?" James was practically bouncing in his seat.

"…Yes."

"With who?"

"I'm not telling you, you'll just have to find out this weekend."

"But that's no fun!"

"And neither is being pelted by bread crumbs. Payback hurts sometimes, Prongs."

"I already told you, it was Sirius!"

A new voice joined their conversation. "What was Sirius? The devilishly handsome boy who just scored a date to Hogsmeade? Why, yes, that was Sirius."

Both Remus and James glowered at him.

"Did you know about Moony's date this weekend, Padfoot?"

Sirius's eyes widened comically. "I, uh, gotta go eat food. Hungry, yum yum!" He shoved a roll into his mouth, gagging slightly before turning his back to them.

"I can't believe you won't tell me! After all these years, you trust Sirius more than me?"

Remus paused. "…That's not it, James. I'm just trying to figure this all out." He gave an apologetic shrug.

James narrowed his eyes, but decided to switch the topic. Moony's Business was Moony's Business, and you did _not_ go sneaking around Moony's Business unless you wanted to end up as Moony Food next full moon.

"Will you be well enough to go to the Quidditch game? It's Wednesday, that only gives you two days to recover…"

"I'll be fine, James. Do I ever miss a game?"

"No mother dearest."

Remus ignored the comment in favor of pulling out another textbook, this one on Arithmancy.

Sirius chose that moment to turn around, and ended up getting smacked in the face with the book as Remus pulled it up from under the table.

James, of course, found this hilarious and burst out laughing.

"Ouch! James, this is not funny! Stop laughing! Moony has damaged my beautiful face with those awful things he always carried around!

"My textbooks?"

"Yes! Those _things_! Now that I am permanently scarred for life, I shall have to go into hiding!"

"Please, Padfoot. If I can live with my face, you can live with yours," Remus gestured towards one of the many scars that covered his face.

Suddenly, Sirius smacked him, pinching both of Remus's cheeks and holding on. "Don't speak nonsense, silly little Moony. We will go into hiding together, just the two of us. Ooh, but that'd get lonely, huh?" He turned to James. "Don't worry, you can visit us in our small, deserted tropical paradise."

James was still laughing. "Tropical paradise? Where are you going to find a tropical paradise in England?"

Sirius let go of Remus's cheeks (the latter immediately began to rub furiously at them) and tapped his chin. "We'll go to the Forbidden Forest. Moony can protect me from the big bad monsters out there, right Moony?"

"No," Remus said, still rubbing at his poor red cheeks. "I'd let them tear you to pieces."

Sirius brightened. "That just gave me an idea!"

He grabbed Remus by the elbow and dragged him up so both of them were standing on the bench. He cleared his throat and started to shout at the students who had gathered in the hall for dinner. "Beloved friends and classmates. Let it be known that I, Sirius Black, and my dear, dear friend Remus Lupin, are going to make a suicide pact tonight. None of you will ever see our beautiful faces again, so take time to indulge yourselves now. I'm generous enough to allow you all twenty minutes to-"

"Mr. Black, please sit down. And let go of Mr. Lupin!" McGonagall's shrill voice rang through the Great Hall, barely heard over the laughter of all the students.

Sirius immediately began grumbling, but he sat down anyways, releasing Remus's arm. James was now red in the face from laughing, and Remus looked red for an entirely different reason.

"I can't believe you embarrassed me like that, Padfoot!" He shouted frantically over James's laughter.

"Well, it got James to forget about your date, didn't it?"

Remus shook his head at Sirius's demented logic and turned back to his book.

Tomorrow was going to be a long day.


	6. Chapter 5

A/N: Thanks again to my lovely readers for their reviews!

This chapter is completely Remus-centric. In case you hadn't noticed, the whole story will mainly be from Remus's POV.

This chapter will pretty much cover all of Friday, so the next chapter will most likely be the date.

Now on with the story!

Chapter 5

Remus woke that Friday morning with a headache. It wasn't exactly uncommon when you slept in a dorm with two boys who snored and another who talked in his sleep, but Remus had the idea this headache had to do with the fact that tomorrow he would be on a date with Lily.

Lily Evans. James's self-proclaimed true love and all that.

Remus groaned and rolled over, burying his head into his pillow. When James found out, he was dead. There was no doubt about it.

He thought back to that day in third year, when Lily had done some little favor for James. If Remus remembered correctly, she had given him a quill to use during a test. Anyways, it had gotten James so excited he had rushed back to the dorm and screamed at the three boys:

"None of you date Lily!"

Then he had locked himself in their bathroom for an hour, probably to drool over the quill or something.

Of course, James had mainly been looking at Sirius throughout the little fit, but Remus had assumed it applied to all of them. Especially since Remus knew that Lily had had a crush on him around fourth year. Thankfully, that little bit of information had never reached James, and Lily's crush had died down to the point where she and Remus were just good friends.

"Moony, wakey-wakey!"

Remus winced, which only made his head hurt more. "G'off me S'rus."

"What? I can't hear you! Speak up!" Sirius bounced a little on the bed, making Remus's stomach do flips. He pulled the pillow from under his head and smacked Sirius with it.

"Why do you have to wake me up every morning, Sirius? I am capable of doing it myself, you know!"

"Because Peter's too afraid to wake you and once James gets up he goes straight to the bathroom to style his hair like some girl."

"I heard that!" Came a cry from the bathroom. Remus finally sat up and pushed Sirius off the bed.

"Don't be mean to him, Padfoot. You know how he needs to style it perfectly to get that 'just woke up from bed' look that Lily likes."

"Thanks, Moony," James called from the bathroom again.

'Suck up' Sirius mouthed. Remus just shrugged. "I don't want him to kill me too much. Maybe if he remembers that I'm his nice little friend and not just a Lily-stealer, he'll spare me a few of my limbs."

"Doubt it," Sirius said, picking himself up from the floor.

The rest of the day went by surprisingly fast, much to Remus's relief. He spent most of the day avoiding Sirius and James, and thankfully his headache disappeared for a short time.

There was, however, an incident in Potions class that increased his headache tenfold. It also complicated his precious plan a little bit.

"Today we'll be covering Sleeping Draughts," Slughorn announced once everyone was in their seats. Remus had chosen not to sit in his usual spot next to James, instead picking a boy named Benjy Fenwick to be his partner. Benjy at least seemed to know what he was doing, so hopefully he wouldn't disturb Remus (or Remus's headache) that much.

"Do you know how to make this?" He inquired to Benjy, who nodded silently. Remus almost heard the halleluiah chorus in his head. Of course, Remus knew how to make it as well, but this meant he wouldn't have to talk to Benjy unless absolutely necessary.

For a few minutes he idly read off the instructions, listing ingredients that they would need to retrieve from the store cupboards in the back. Remus quickly became bored, though, when their potion was brewing. So, he did something very un-Remus-like.

He eavesdropped.

It must have been a happy coincidence that Lily was seated directly behind him.

"You're so good at this, Severus. How do you know all this?" Lily's calm voice asked her partner, Snape. Remus resisted the urge to scowl. Unlike his friends, he didn't hate Snape one bit, but after the 'accident' that had almost caused a rift between the Marauders, Remus couldn't exactly call Snape a friend.

"Thank you Lily. I… thanks."

"It's no problem, Sev! You really are great, and such a good friend!"

Remus felt his headache grow. This was so confusing. Why was Lily complementing Severus so much? Did she… did she like him?

Oh, if only his head didn't hurt so much. Then he could think clearly.

"Does the crushed unicorn horn go in now or after?" Benjy's voice broke through Remus's frantic thoughts.

"Huh? Oh, right now is fine."

Benjy did as instructed, but resumed his silence. Remus felt his headache grow calm again. Why hadn't he made friends with Benjy before? Surely this was better than the constant chaos of the Marauders.

Remus sighed. He was so bad at lying to himself.


	7. Chapter 6

A/N: Why, oh why, have my reviews been slacking? I'm thankful for them as always, but do I still need to remind you guys to review? Really?

Very well then. I hope you enjoy Remus's date with Lily. Four whole pages of Marauder goodness, unlike the usual three!

IMPORTANT: This story is going on a one week hiatus. I'm sorry, but I will be back!! And then I will complete this story with some lovely James/Lily! So stay tuned and keep reviewing, please!

Chapter 6

"Good morning, Lily," Remus waved politely to the red-haired girl waiting for him in the Common Room. Lily wore a plain sweater to keep out the chilly air, and her hair was tied back. "You look lovely today!"

"You sound like James," Lily shifted uncomfortably. "It's creeping me out."

Remus chuckled. "Sorry, maybe a little bit of him has rubbed off on me after all."

"I hope not, Remus. You're much too nice for that group of… of…"

"Miscreants? That's my favorite word to use for them. I also like 'idiots', but sometimes that's very ineffective. I mean, they usually block out what I say anyways, so…"

Remus was surprised to see Lily laughing. He made a mental note 'Lily likes sarcasm'. Oh, but that would never work. James was awful at sarcasm, he just didn't get it.

Lily opened her mouth to speak, but just then McGonagall's voice rang through the Common Room. "Anyone who wishes to go on the Hogsmeade trip will meet at the Front Entrance in approximately a quarter of an hour."

She had just finished speaking when Sirius flung himself down the steps and into a crowd of people.

"Alright, ladies. Which one of you will be my date this fine day?"

"What happened to that Hufflepuff girl, Padfoot?" Remus asked quietly, not wanting Lily to hear.

"Huh? Oh, I forgot about her." Remus rolled his eyes and turned back to Lily.

"Shall we?" He asked, offering her his arm. She giggled (a weird sound to hear from the girl who was always shouting at James) and looped her arm through his elbow.

James, thankfully, had headed out early to Hogsmeade. He was supposed to be in detention, but instead had taken the invisibility cloak and skipped it.

Even knowing that James was probably in Honeydukes or Zonko's, Remus was still on the lookout for any sign of his friend. He didn't dare hold Lily's hand, instead keeping their arms locked for the whole trip down to Hogsmeade. It felt weird; like he was cheating on James or something by going on this date with Lily. Though, to James's twisted mind, this would be cheating.

Sirius was in a much better mood. He spent the walk chatting with Lily and his Hufflepuff date, who he had somehow managed to find right before leaving Hogwarts. Remus hadn't really bothered to ask how.

Lily, for the most part, seemed to be enjoying herself. Sirius's date had ditched him for someone else the second they were in town, so it was only the three of them who went to the Three Broomsticks. Remus kept his fingers crossed the entire time. He knew James would eventually find them, but hopefully he could live long enough to make it to Honeydukes for one last chocolate bar.

He did. After eating about three bars of the delicious sweet, he made Sirius buy another boxful since he had run out of money buying Lily's butterbeer and his chocolate. After all, Sirius had more than enough money, and still owed Remus for that incident with the Chocolate Frogs. Remus still shuddered to think about all his poor, precious chocolate supply of those jumping things making their way down Severus's pants.

"REMUS?" A voice broke through the sour memory. Remus jumped and covered his head. He didn't even need to turn around to know it was James.

"I'm so sorry, James! It was just a joke! And… and…" Remus trailed off when he heard laughter.

"Hey, Moony, it works! I got this voice disguiser thing at Zonko's, and it really works! See?" Sirius held up something to his lips and spoke into it. "Mooooooneeeey…" James's voice called out.

"Sirius, you… you…"

"Miscreant?" Lily suggested, laughing. Remus's face turned red, and he jabbed a finger at Sirius accusingly.

"That was _not_ funny! Oh… you owe me _cartloads_ of chocolate now. Do you here me? Cartloads!"

"Yes, Moony," Sirius said, laughing. He didn't look apologetic at all.

"What's all this?"

Both boys froze where they stood. Remus looked at the Zonko's product in Sirius's hand. It hadn't been used that time.

"James!" Sirius said, turning to face his friend. "You… made it. Great."

James stood with his arms crossed, staring at the three. "Of course I made it! I wouldn't miss Moony's first date for anything. Except maybe a date of my own with Lily, which just might be possible seeing as she's standing right here!" He grinned. "How about it, Evans?"

Lily sniffed and grabbed Remus's arm. "Not on your life, Potter. I'm here with Remus today."

James's face visibly fell. He stared at Remus. "Is that true? Is Evans really your date?"

Remus winced. "I… uh… I can explain, James. Please, just hear me out."

James's eyes flickered between Lily and Sirius, before resting on Remus. "Fine."

"You see… uh, Sirius dared me to ask Lily on a date," Remus started, sticking with the story he had told Lily. "Naturally, I would never dare, but he promised me… chocolate. Lots of chocolate. So I decided that one date couldn't hurt, you know?"

James narrowed his eyes. "So it's all Sirius's fault?"

"Yep," Remus's eyes brightened as they locked with Sirius's own frightened eyes. Oh, payback really was sweet sometimes.

"What?" The dark-haired boy yelled. "Do you really believe Moony, James?"

"Yeah, I do." James smirked. "You're forgiven, Moony. Wait…" he leveled a finger at Remus. "You didn't kiss her, did you?"

"No! I mean… no, I didn't. No offence to you, Lily, but no way. I wouldn't do that to you, James." Remus shrugged apologetically at Lily, who just smiled back at him.

"Well, this has been very entertaining, Remus, but I probably should be going. And I hope you don't take offence either, Remus, when I say that…" She bent over and whispered something into his ear. Remus's face broke out into a huge grin.

"Bye, Remus, Black, Potter!" She called, waving to the three boys.

Once she was gone, Sirius started to squint. It pinched up his face and crinkled his nose, making him look very weird. "What did she say to you, Moony?"

"Not telling. And don't do that, Pads. It makes you look like Professor Flitwick."

Sirius un-scrunched his face and turned to James. "Are you mad at us?"

James shook his head. "No. I mean, I doubt this is Lily's first time out with a guy or anything. I never really expected to be her first date, either."

"Yeah, you just always expected to be the first one to marry her and bear her firstborn," Sirius added.

"Exactly!" James said, brightening. Remus rolled his eyes.

"We should get back now," he said. "It's getting dark."

Sirius and James turned to him, their eyes glinting. "But dark time is fun time, Moony."

"Remind me again why I'm friends with you?"

"Because you love us?"

"Because without us you'd die?"

Remus shook his head. "I remember now. You blackmailed me into staying with you by learning my secret. Relentless gits."

"You know, I always liked it when you called us miscreants. It had a nice ring to it."

"I completely agree, Prongs!"

Remus rolled his eyes once more. "Gits."


	8. Chapter 7

A/N: I'm back everyone! Did you miss me? Or did you just miss this story?

Anyways, to make up for my absence this chapter is extremely fluffy. It includes: a confession from Lily, big words, and a cutesy heart-to-heart type of thing. It's short, but I promise that you won't be disappointed!

P.S. I'm not telling you what callipygian means. You need to look it up!

Chapter 7

"Hi Lily."

Lily looked up from her book at the boy who had just come in. "Remus."

Remus smiled politely at Lily and took the chair opposite her. "You asked me to meet you here, remember?"

"Uh, yeah. I remember. I didn't expect you to come so soon, though."

Remus shrugged. "I was coming to the library anyways. It's better than being locked in the Common Room with James and Sirius."

Lily's nose wrinkled. "I see what you mean. Are they really that bad?"

"Oh, no. They're my friends, and I like them a lot. Sometimes though…"

"But, why are you even friends with them? You could do so much better!"

Remus burst out in laughter. Lily looked surprised. "How could I do better than them? They're all I could ask for, Lily. I don't really expect you to understand, but James and Sirius… and Peter, for that matter, actually care. It's hard to explain, but how they appear in the public's eye and my view of them are completely different." He paused and took in Lily's expression. "I hope you see that side of them one day."

Lily cleared her throat. "Well, that's what I'd like to talk to you about. It's… what? Sixth year? And… James hasn't…"

"Asked you to marry him yet? Give it time, it's hardly the end of second term."

"No, that's not it. What I mean to say is James has been acting different. I can't place my finger on it… and it's driving me crazy! No one else but me has seen the change, and… would you stop grinning like a maniac over there!?"

Remus hid his smile behind his hand. "Sorry. But I know what you're talking about. You see, James has actually matured over the years. Sirius and I have been noticing it as well."

Lily's face had turned stony. "A mature James? Sorry Remus, but I can't see that happening."

"You've already seen it happen. Think about it. How many pranks has he pulled this year? How many times has he called you callipygian?"

"James doesn't use big words like that."

"Yeah, I know. But it's only a matter of time before he starts, and that word will be the first he uses."

"Please, don't give him a dictionary for his birthday or anything."

"I'll try to keep him away from anything resembling a thesaurus. But you do admit you've seen a change, right?"

Lily shifted in the library chair. "Possibly. I don't think I'd have ever expected it, but… he has changed, hasn't he?"

Remus was silent for a while. "Would you like it if he did change?"

It was Lily's turn to be quiet. After a while, she nodded. "I think a little part of me has always liked the attention he gives me. If he were to stop liking me, I suppose I'd feel a little lonely."

"I don't think that will happen anytime soon."

"Yeah." Lily began to gather her things, but paused when Remus put a hand on hers.

"Lily, can you promise me something?"

She looked at his hand, then brought her head up so they're eyes met. "Anything."

"Don't hurt him. He may seem proud and resilient, but he really does like you. If you can't return the feelings, then please don't string him along."

Lily's face slowly stretched into a smile. "You won't have to worry about that. If I really like him, I won't want to hurt him either. I promise, Remus."

With that, she collected her things and started to walk out of the library, leaving a slightly bewildered Remus behind.


	9. Chapter 8

A/N: Thanks for all your reviews, guys! Anyways, another short chapter, just cause I forgot to mention that it was a full moon in the last chapter. So… in this chapter it's after the full moon, and Remus is in the hospital wing. Also, Sirius gets the angsty spotlight put on him (thanks to a request from st4rxx94, who wanted a little Regulus action). Don't worry, the angst is made up for in fluff.

Request box is still open. And by box, I mean a review or PM. It's not like I have an actual box to put your requests in. But I WILL GET TO THEM. I PROMISE!!! I really have no idea where this story is going after James and Lily get together, but I want it to continue (and I have a feeling you do to!)

Anyways, please enjoy this puppy-centric chapter!

Chapter 8

Remus stifled a groan when Sirius jumped onto the hospital bed.

"Woops, sorry Moony. How are you feeling?"

"I _was_ feeling fine, until you decided to crush my legs with all of your body weight."

"Sorry," Sirius said again, hopping off of the bed quickly and settling down nearer to Remus's torso. "Everything is ready and waiting on your signal. Will you be okay for dinner?"

Remus tried to sit up in the bed. He was exhausted from the full moon last night, but it hadn't been any worse than usual. "Yeah, I'll be okay. I might fall asleep in my pudding, though."

"You can't do that! Pudding is for eating, not sleeping in."

"I'm aware of that, Pads. I was making a joke."

Sirius gasped dramatically. "It's the end of the world! Moony made a joke!"

"Shut up. So everyone's informed of the plan? I'm really counting on you Sirius."

"I know, don't-"

"If you tell me to not worry one more time I will eat you."

"Yeah, but you'd be really sad after you ate me. Who would annoy you? Who would make jokes at your expense?"

"I'm sure James could fill in."

"Nope, he'll have Lily. And you'll be all alone!" Sirius leaned closer to Remus. "Or worse, you'll be stuck with Peter!"

"Okay, I'll keep you alive for a little while."

"Thanks Moony! Remember to be in the Grand Hall for din…ner." Sirius grin disappeared, and he stared blankly at the doors to the hospital wing. Remus cautiously followed his gaze.

A black-haired figure stood in the entryway. His posture held all the things Sirius's lacked: pose, culture, and smugness. However, there was no mistaking the similarities between the two Black siblings.

Sirius's knuckles went white; he had clenched them into a fist. Remus reached over and placed his hand gently on Sirius's, not necessarily to comfort him, but to hold him back if Sirius decided to fling himself across the room at his brother.

Regulus took one look at the two of them and fled. Sirius didn't begin to relax until Remus hesitantly relaxed his grip. Silence hung in the air, as thick as the nasty potions Remus was always made to drink to aid his recovery.

"He knows what you are," Sirius said after a while. "He found out after I left home. I think Snivellus told him."

Remus was quiet. "Regulus is smart."

"I didn't tell him. I promise you, I didn't. You can ask James-"

"I believe you, Pads." Remus shivered, but not from the cold. "Like I said, Regulus is smart. If you could figure it out, I'm sure he could."

The joke fell flat.

"Do you miss home?"

Sirius sneered. "Not one bit. I never want to go back to that place again. James is my family now. And you're the ugly cousin with the odd, incurable disease that comes to visit every Christmas."

Remus smiled. "I'm so glad making fun of me puts you in a good mood. Just remind me to hide next time your feeling depressed."

"Yes, Mr. Moony, sir!"

"Okay, Padfoot. Now leave so I can get some rest and be ready for tonight."

"Uh huh!"

Sirius jumped of the bed with a crazy grin on his face, making Remus smile. The boy acted so headstrong all the time, but only his friends knew the truth behind that smile.

This made Remus feel very special. He liked having someone to share the burden of a tragic past with, who understood how he felt. James tried to understand, and did a good job, but only Remus and Sirius truly understood how it felt to be alone and forgotten and hated.

Remus closed his eyes. James and Lily would be together soon, so this was no time for depressing thoughts.

And at the thought of one of his best friends finally being with the object of his affections after all these years, all the bad feelings from moments ago fled.

Remus was happy.


	10. Intermission

Intermission

I would like to take this moment to confess that I am an AWFUL PERSON.

I missed an update yesterday!! I don't know how I could do that, especially after leaving you alone while I was on that week long hiatus!

And NOW, TODAY, I'm not updating because I'm putting this stupid little Intermission thingy in!!

So feel free to throw tomatoes or semi-heavy bricks at me. I won't try to dodge them.

Anyways, besides this apology, I'll also be answering some questions you people may have about A Very Clever Plan.

Question 1: Why did you miss an update yesterday?

What a good question that I just made up right now. You see, I was in the middle of a game of Chinese checkers with a leprechaun and the ghost of John Lennon when aliens came to my door and forced me to watch Lord of the Rings with them. Yes, that is a true story. BELIEVE IT!

Question 2: Why aren't you updating today, instead putting this stupid intermission thingy in?

The answer to that is simple. I am lazy. I am also taking (read: being forced to take) a summer course at my school. This course is so boring it is zapping away my will to live, and I can literally feel any creativity I have left being sucked out of my intestines. Yes, intestines. Everyone knows that's where creativity comes from (imagination comes from your kidneys).

Question 3: What are the pairings in this story?

As of now, only JPLE. If some of you thought you saw RLSB in that last chapter, good for you! You saw through my clever little plan to place hints of RLSB somewhere deep within your mind, therefore corrupting future generations of the world. Sorry for misleading you back there, people. I was originally debating whether to put it in, but then I thought, 'you know, this is a James/Lily story. So bah,' and then I was hit with a frying pan.

Question 4: Whatever happened to Peter?

I hate him, and I'm sure most of you do to. I tried and failed to put him somewhere in this story, but I couldn't do it without throwing up a little in my mouth.

Question 5: Where did you go when you put this story on hiatus?

That, my dear readers, is a mystery. It certainly has nothing to do with lawn gnomes, resurrecting the dead, or Russia.

Question 6: Do you like waffles?

WHY YES, YES I DO.

Question 6: Is your Capslock button broken?

WHY YES, YES IT IS.

End of Questions.

I have one more favor to ask of you people before you press that little X button in the top right hand corner of your computer screen, ultimately leading you safely away from this abysmally stupid rant.

I NEED REQUESTS! Please, people? I would kill for any ideas, any at all.

In fact, I am now holding this leprechaun hostage. If I do not get any requests, any at all, he will be thrown into a lava pit. As soon as I find a lava pit that is within a mile of my house, 'cause I'm too lazy to walk any further.

Thanks and please enjoy the next chapter which will hereby be know as THE CHAPTER IN WHICH LILY AND JAMES GET TOGETHER THANKS TO THE INTENSLY CUNNING PLAN OF REMUS AND SIRIUS.

I will now beat the ghost of John Lennon at Chinese checkers.

Oh, and be sure to push that little green button at the bottom of this page to put a request in or the leprechaun gets it.


	11. Chapter 9

A/N: Gah, I'm sorry again guys. I've been a lot busier than usual.  
Anyways, you're reviews make me so happy! I seriously don't deserve you!  
Thanks for all the requests. I'm going to try to fit them all in, so don't worry about your request not being filled!  
On with the story! It's a very short chapter, but I think it will make people happy!

Chapter 9

Remus hobbled into the Great Hall with a smile on his face. He had just passed Caradoc Dearborn, who had assured him that all the prefects were in place. Meanwhile, Sirius was handling the other students who had wanted to help, like Alice and Frank.

"How are you, Moony?" Sirius asked him when he got to the table. James and Peter looked up at him, obviously surprised to see him up and about so shortly after the full moon.

"Fine, I'm fine. A little tired." It was true. Despite being tired, however, he wouldn't miss that night for the world if it meant Lily and James might get together.

All because he had been driven crazy by James's numerous attempts over the years, of course. That was what he kept telling himself.

James nodded and turned back to his plate, but Peter looked curiously at Remus. He hadn't been informed of the whole plan-- his job was simply to have James in the right place at the right time-- because Sirius was convinced he would somehow manage to mess it up.

"Potter," a voice called. All four boys looked up. Lily Evans stood above them, fumbling nervously with a book she held.

"Hi, Lily. Wh-What are you doing here?" Some porridge dribbled out of James mouth, but Remus quickly handed him a cloth to wipe it up before Lily saw.

"I'm not sure. Marlene McKinnon said that you needed help with something. Though I don't see why you didn't just ask Remus…"

"Well, dear Evans," Sirius started. "James needs help on his DADA essay. He couldn't ask Remus because Mssr. Moony has been in the hospital wing until as of late."

"Oh, are you okay?" Lily looked concernedly at Remus, who shrugged.

"Yeah, he's fine. But now that you're both here, I'm sure you can both create an essay worthy of an 'O' for our dear little Jamsie."

"Don't call me that, Padfoot."

Sirius tried to fling a spoonful of something unrecognizable at James, but Remus grabbed the spoon out of his hand first.

"What is this stuff?" Remus sneered, holding the spoon away from him as if it could bite.

"I don't really know. I just grabbed it from a plate somewhere."

"It looks toxic."

"I think it's yummy."

"You've eaten it?"

"Er… yeah?"

"Gross!"

At that moment, bells sounded in the hall. Everyone looked around curiously for the source of the noise. Remus grinned. That was their cue.

"Gee, Padfoot, what does that over there say?" Remus asked loudly. The students followed his pointing finger and found that a huge poster had been hung at the back of the Great Hall.

"Why, Moony. It says that our own LILY EVANS LOVES JAMES POTTER." Sirius practically screamed the last part out.

"Remus?!" Lily shouted indignantly. "You told?!"

"Told? You mean… IT'S TRUE?" Sirius screamed again.

"Lily?" James squeaked.

"I-er… I need to go Potter."

With a swish of her robes, she ran out of the Great Hall, leaving a mass of gaping students behind.

"Er… what just happened?" Peter asked slowly.


	12. Chapter 10

A/N: Happy Birthday Woodstock! That's right, apparently its Woodstock's 40th Birthday or something.

So… I don't know. Go listen to some music or something. Don't do drugs though ('cause they're bad for you)…

Enjoy the chapter! I'm sorry it's incredibly, awfully short. And… GASP! Is that lupinluvrr12343's suggestion right there? At the bottom? I think it is…

Chapter 10

"Do you have a plan?"

James blinked at Sirius. "…No."

"That's a first," Remus commented from behind his book.

"This is… is this for real?" James got a dreamy look on his face, and both Remus and Sirius rolled their eyes.

"James, we've gone over this ten times now. Lily likes you, but I bet she'd rather die than ask you on a date. Which means you'll have to make the first move."

"Okay. I guess that makes sense."

Sirius grinned. "See? Wasn't that so much easier than fighting us?"

"Shut up. What do I do though? She probably hates my guts right now."

"Correction," Remus pointed out. "She probably hates _my_ guts right now. I _am_ the one who told the whole school a secret she entrusted with me."

"Good job with that, mate," Sirius patted Remus on the back. "Looks like we've rubbed off on you after all!"

"Don't sound so cheerful about that."

"Hello!" James waved his arms at the two boys. They were in their dorm, away from the curious eyes of the other students, but he was still confused and a bit dazed about Lily's confession. "We're talking about my problem here, you know!"

"I say we get detention."

"Is that your answer to everything, Padfoot?"

"No, no! Hear me out on this!" He ignored the other boys' dubious looks. "You know how prefects have to watch the students in detention sometimes?"

Remus moaned. "Ugh, I sure do. That's the worst! Wait… I see where you're going with this!"

"Where?" James looked confused. "Where is he going with this, Moony?"

"All we have to do is get Lily signed up for detention duty and make sure she and James are alone in the room, and then bingo! Little James and Lily Jr.s!"

"I doubt that will happen, Padfoot. But other than that, it might just work…" Remus got that glint in his eye whenever he came up with one of the more brilliant of the Marauder's pranks.

"So all I have to do is get detention?" James asked.

"Yep. Just leave the rest of it to us, Prongs! All you have to worry about is what to name your children!"

Remus hit Sirius with his book. "Would you stop bringing that up?"

"Sorry." Sirius mumbled, rubbing his head.

"Hey…" James looked around they're dorm. "Where's Pete?"

An ear shattering scream pierced through the night, and the three boys ran to the window. Outside, they could faintly see the outline of Peter. It looked like he was being dragged into the lake by some sort of tentacle.

"Peter!" James screamed, throwing open the window and sticking his head out. "Hold on, we're coming!"

James ran for the door and flew out of it without saying any more. Remus and Sirius remained at the window.

"Oh, look. There he goes." Remus observed.

"Yep. That squid sure is strong."

"I don't think Peter was holding on to the tree root tight enough."

"Oh, yeah, there's that. Here comes James."

"He's a little late, I think. That water must be cold…"

They were silent while they watched James try to pull Peter out of the water.

"Do you think he needs help?" Sirius asked after a little while.

"Mmm… he'll be fine. I'm going to bed, see you in the morning."

"Okay, night." Sirius shut the window and climbed into his own bed. It was about a half hour later that a dripping James pulled a barely conscious Peter into the room.

"Lazy gits," he muttered, looking at his sleeping friends. And if he hadn't been in such a good mood from Lily's confession, he might have actually meant it.


	13. Chapter 11

A/N: This chapter is four whole pages of nonsensical nonsense. No Lily/James interaction at all. I am an awful, awful person.

Hotncold93, I hope you enjoy your suggestion! Also, michaela and Whisperheart both wanted a girlfriend for Remus, so I'm going to try my best. Any one else who wanted Remus het will be pleased as well. Much thanks to Arkadian Toad as well for letting me use her OC (with a slight name/personality change, of course)

Chapter 11

Tuesday morning went by uneventfully. Remus didn't see Lily at all, even though he was looking for her. Alice came by to their table at lunch and reported that Lily wasn't feeling well.

James moped around for most of the morning as well. He didn't even try to hex Snape when the greasy-haired Slytherin came by to 'congratulate' the Marauders on attempting to get Lily and James together.

Remus almost felt sorry for the poor boy. Severus seemed convinced that Lily would fall in love with him or something. If Remus had any say in it, though, Lily and James would be the ones to fall in love. With each other, of course.

But hey, even if James didn't really seem to be in the mood for hexing, it didn't mean Sirius wasn't.

So there Snape was, dancing some kind of weird jig across the Slytherin table and singing some song about a unicorn named Humphrey, and Remus thought he actually saw a smile flicker on James's face. So maybe Sirius could wait to be scolded for a little while.

The rest of the day's classes went by smoothly as well. Remus saw Lily a few times, usually talking to Snape (who apparently recovered well from being hexed). At one point, he even tried to get close to them and hear what they were saying, but it pretty much ended in failure.

The sad part was that Remus was jealous. Not necessarily because he was in love with Lily or anything, of course. That would be stupid and pointless, not to mention it would only end in disappointment.

No, it wasn't that. What Remus wanted was to be in a relationship with someone as well. He had known since he was a child that he would never have any children, for fear of passing on his lycanthropy on to them, but it didn't change the fact that he was still a teenage boy and would have wanted a girlfriend at the very least.

At least Sirius seemed to understand this, which Remus was thankful for.

"Hi, Lily," Remus waved to her as she walked past him. She huffed and walked on.

_Guess I deserved that_, he thought solemnly.

"Hi Remus."

Remus looked up and saw someone standing in front of him. She appeared to be about his age, but he had never seen her before. She wore a Ravenclaw robe, and had dark black hair and blue eyes.

"Er, hi. I'm sorry, but… I don't think we've met."

"No, we haven't. I'm a year younger. But of course I know you, I mean; you are one of the Marauders."

"Huh? Oh, yeah." Remus smiled tentatively. "So… did you need something?"

"W-Well," a faint blush appeared on the girl's cheeks. "Yeah. W-Would you like to go to Hogsmeade with me next weekend?"

_Well, this is strange_, Remus raised an eyebrow. How odd that he had just been thinking about dating when this girl came.

"Er… sure. I mean, I usually go with my friends, but…"

"Oh, I understand," the girl looked crestfallen.

"No! What I mean is… I'd love to go with you!" _Smooth, Lupin. Smoooooth_.

_Why does my inner voice sound like Sirius? That's rather creepy._

"That's great Remus! I-I'll see you around then!"

"Yeah, okay. Er… what's your name?"

"Oh, I'm Violet. Violet Noss."

"Okay, then…" _This is pretty surreal. _

_Tell me about it._

_Shut up, Sirius voice._

_Okay._

Remus rolled his eyes. _And now I'm rolling my eyes at myself. Great. _"I've officially lost my mind."

"Why's that, Moony?"

"I'm hearing you in my head."

Sirius grinned. "How blessed you are, then. How blessed you are."

"I was thinking more along the lines of cursed."

"You would, Moony. Only you would. Others would consider it a gift. What's up though? You're standing in the middle of the hallway like… well, you know I'm bad at metaphors."

"You mean similes?"

"I mean metaphors."

"Thank goodness you're not a Muggle. I'd hate to think of all the children you'd corrupt if you taught little kids."

"Hey, I'm so talented, I can corrupt little Muggle children without being a Muggle myself."

"Thank Merlin." Remus said sarcastically. "Anyways, it appears I have a date for next weekend."

Sirius stared blankly at him for a second.

"What are you looking at, Pads?"

"Oh… my… gosh, Remus," Sirius squealed and clapped his hands together.

"Sirius Black, please tell me you did not just squeal."

"I didn't. I emitted a manly show of amazement that you actually got a date."

"No, that was definitely a squeal."

"Was not."

"Was too."

"Was not."

"It was too a squeal!"

"What was a squeal?" James asked, looking confused. He seemed to have come from down the hallway.

"James, Sirius just squealed!"

"I did not! It was a _manly show of amazement_ because you actually got a date!"

"Who got a date?"

"Moony."

"Really?"

"Yep."

"Wow."

"I know!"

"Okay, that's enough, guys. Did you really have that little faith in me that I would never get a date?"

James and Sirius looked at each other, and then back at Remus. "Yes."

"Gits."


	14. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

"So you're telling me you're never going to get married?" Remus appeared to be in deep conversation with Sirius as they strolled down the corridor.

"No, I said I wasn't going to have a _wife_."

"Then what are you going to have?"

Sirius grinned. "A harem!"

Remus smiled and shook his head. "I would be surprised that you know the meaning of that word, but I think that by now I've learned how to not be surprised around you."

"You never know…"

"Guys! Hey, wait up!"

Sirius and Remus spun around and saw James hurrying down the hall. "What is it?"

"I got detention!"

"What?!" The two boys said simultaneously.

Remus rubbed his temples. "James, you were supposed to get detention tomorrow, or sometime that you did _not_ have a Quidditch game."

"What are we going to do for a Seeker if you have detention?" Sirius half-shouted.

James's face fell. "I… er, I guess I wasn't thinking. B-But, Lily has detention duty today, right?"

Remus nodded. "I suppose you'll have to make the sacrifice. Cheer up, Padfoot. I'm sure the Gryffindor team can find a replacement Seeker in time."

"None as good as Prongs, though," Sirius grumbled.

"I'm really sorry guys! It's just, there was the perfect opportunity to get detention and I took it!"

Remus sighed. "Do I really want to know?"

"Of course you do Moony! Come on; let's talk about this over a nice dinner in the Great Hall!"

"Whatever."

The three of them entered the Great Hall and took their place at the usual table. Peter was already there, and he welcomed them, seeming to have forgotten his ordeal with the giant squid.

They had just begun to get settled when someone cleared their throat. Remus looked up and saw that Lily was standing next to him.

"Er… Evans, what are you doing here?" Sirius asked, looking up from the roll he had been buttering.

"I-I came to talk to Remus," she answered, leveling her gaze with him. It was obvious she was avoiding James's eyes.

"Sure, Lily. Uh… what about?" Remus was every bit uncomfortable with this as she was. He had been certain that she hated him only that morning.

Lily chewed her lip. "Um… maybe over there?" She pointed to a secluded part of the Gryffindor table.

"O-Of course," Remus got up and followed her to the table. "What can I do for you?"

"Are you going out with Violet Noss?"

Remus sat down hesitantly. "How do you know about that?"

"She told me."

"Well…" Remus rubbed the back of his head. "I guess it's true. We haven't exactly been out on a date or anything-"

"I don't like her." Lily looked Remus straight in the eye.

"W-What?"

"I don't like her, Remus. Don't go out with her."

"I already said yes…"

Lily frowned. "Well, it's your decision. But… what I really wanted to talk to you about was…"

"James, right?"

"I hate it when you do that."

Remus grinned. "I'm sorry. If you're wondering how he's feeling about your inadvertent confession-"

"I'm still angry about that, you know."

"-he seems to be handling it well. I wouldn't be surprised if you find yourself growing steadily fonder of him by the second."

Lily got a sort of far-away look. "I have been noticing how nice his eyes are, and how his hair is such a nice color, and how…"

"I don't really need to be hearing this, you know."

Lily's face turned as red as a tomato. "Ah, I should be going. I-I'll see you around. Remember what I said about Violet, okay?"

"I will, Lily, I will…"

Remus watched her hurry back to her own table before he got up to return to his. What a weird day… scratch that, what a weird _week_ this had been.

________________________________________________________________________

_(A/N: I want to take this time to acknowledge some of your worries/fears. Violet and Remus will not really be a pairing in this. I told you it was only going to be Lily/James and such, so I'll stick by my word. I'm only filling a request that Remus should go on a date/have a temporary girlfriend. As a second note, Violet, or Violetta Nosse, as Arkadian Toad (a.k.a. her actual creator) likes to call her, is a real brat. She's not necessarily a good person. For all extents and purposes, though, she will be made tolerable enough for Remus to go on one date with her._

_I don't know why the author's note is at the end either._

_Now have a cookie. Please, I don't want any.)_


	15. Chapter 13

A/N: Sorry, guys! I don't mean to have so many undertones of RLSB, I just think of them as very close friends. JPLE only!

I know I'm going to make a _lot_ of people angry with this chapter. Like, seriously guys. Please don't hate me for this. I will make it up to you someday!!

st4rxx94, I present to you mentions of Regulus!

Chapter 13

"Merlin, what happened?" James rushed into the Hospital Wing at top speed. Remus looked up from his book and shrugged.

"Sirius… well. The match was against Slytherins today."

James waited for further explanation, looking from Remus to the unconscious Sirius. "We've played against them before, it shouldn't have been a problem."

Remus shook his head and motioned to a chair, silently telling James to sit in it. "It's the first game against them since Regulus was added to the team."

The bespectacled boy's eyes widened in realization. "Tell me everything Remus."

"It started off fine, but then Regulus flew past and… jostled his broom a bit, I suppose. Sirius kind of lost it," Remus paused. "It's only been a year since he left."

James knew he was referring to Sirius. "Will he be okay? What happened to Regulus?"

"Regulus got away with a few bumps and bruises, as well as a sprained wrist. Sirius probably would've won the fight if another Slytherin hadn't come from behind and… well…" He motioned to the icepack on Sirius's head. "He should be waking up some time soon."

They watched Sirius sleep for a little while, before James reached into his bag and pulled out something. "I was going to dinner when I heard the news, and I supposed that you'd already be here. I got you this in case you were hungry."

He handed Remus a chocolate covered croissant. Remus accepted it gleefully.

"Thanks, Prongs. I think I'll do myself a favor by not asking where you pulled it out from, though."

"Relax, Moony. It was in a napkin," James held up said napkin, pointing to the chocolate stains on it.

"Ah, that makes me feel much better about eating it. Now please," Remus smirked. "Enlighten me on you date."

James moaned. "It wasn't a date, Moony. It was detention. She spent the whole time reading a book, and whenever I tried to talk to her she would yell at me to be quiet."

"Did she say anything, though? How did she look?"

"Like I said, she was all 'Shut up or I'll flay you alive' and 'Touch that and I'll cut off your fingers one by one' and 'Put your feet on those books again and I'll make sure you never walk again'," James paused. "I think she blushed a bit, though. Or she was just red in the face from being angry…"

Remus sighed. "So you're saying we've made no progress at all?"

"I _did_ get to spend two whole hours with Lily." James smiled.

Remus opened his mouth to say something more, but he was interrupted by Sirius stirring in the hospital cot.

"Do I smell chocolate?" The dark-haired boy asked softly. Remus made a noise in the back of his throat.

"It's mine," he said, shielding the croissant from Sirius with his hand. James dug around in his backpack again.

"Here, Pads. Obviously Moony's too much of a greedy hog to share."

"That's right," Remus sniffed, taking a huge bite of the croissant. "You are both unworthy of this croissant."

Sirius groaned and sat up in the bed. He held out his hands and made grabbing motions at James. "Gimme that!"

"Sure," James tossed the croissant to Sirius. "How's your head?"

"It feels like I was just hit by a Bludger."

Remus scoffed. "That would be accurate, considering you were hit by a Bludger."

Sirius groaned again, but took a bite out of the croissant nonetheless. "Bloody Slytherins. I'll get them for this."

"Oh, no, you aren't," Remus said, licking the remains of chocolate croissant of his fingers. "We need to concentrate on James and Lily right now."

Sirius huffed and crossed his arms but didn't complain.

"Now, our detention plan didn't work. Our poster plan revealed Lily's true feelings, but it still didn't work. So far, none of our very clever plans have worked! What's wrong!" Remus grabbed fistfuls of his hair and pulled. "Wait…"

"Blimey, Sirius, he's got something!" James leaned forward in his chair expectantly.

"So far, we've enlisted almost half of Hogwarts to help us. But what if…" Remus's eyes gleamed with the prospect of success. "That's it!"

James leaned forward more. "What's it?!"

"Merlin, it's brilliant!"

James was almost off the chair. "What's brilliant?!"

"We-"

CRASH!

James toppled to the floor, letting out a wounded yelp. Sirius smacked his forehead, but immediately regretted it do to the sharp pain that pounded in his skull.

Remus simply rolled his eyes.


	16. Chapter 14

A/N: This is just a weird chapter. I don't like it, there's way too much DRAMA.

Next chapter should be the end, and then there will be an epilogue. If I still haven't fit in your suggestion, PLEASE tell me in a review or PM so I can put it in the next chapter. I'd like everyone to be happy with this!

Chapter 14

Remus watched James approach Lily cautiously, and rolled his eyes. James was looking at Lily like she was about to bite off his head, when he most likely had nothing to worry about.

But then again, Lily had been acting rather strangely these past few days.

Remus remained quiet as James started speaking with her. He was too far away to hear what they were saying, but he and Sirius had literally _drilled_ what to say into James's brain.

There was no way James could find a way to mess this up.

At least, that was what Remus thought until he saw James walking back to him, looking like a dejected puppy. Lily was walking the opposite way.

"What happened?" Remus half-shouted. "The plan was perfect! All you needed to do was _talk_ to her!"

"I-I did," James put his hands up defensively. "It's just… she's been acting different lately. And I told her…"

Remus narrowed his eyes. "What did you tell her?"

"I just asked her why she was acting like that. And I said that if she was acting strange because she was nervous of what I was going to do next, or say next, then she wouldn't have to worry because… because I wasn't going to bother her anymore."

Remus shivered. This… this wasn't James speaking. It was like a much older, much more mature version of James speaking. It was like seeing your favorite actor away from the set and realizing that it was all fake, that he wasn't the man you knew him as. Was this what Lily saw?

"Was that all you told her?"

"I told her I loved her. But that's not exactly new, is it?"

"And what did she say?"

James shrugged. "She walked away. I-I don't feel too good, Moony. I'm going to bed early tonight."

Remus still felt cold. How had he not noticed James had changed that much? Surely _he_ hadn't changed… and Sirius was the same as ever… and Peter didn't even change _clothes_ as much as he should have.

So when had James… grown up?

Remus thought about it. Was it Lily who had instilled the change? None of the other Marauders had ever really been in _love_ before; James was really the first one to even be attracted to a girl. Sure, Sirius had proclaimed himself the 'womanizer' of Hogwarts, and Remus—even Peter—had been on dates before, but James had stuck with Lily through all those years, never even letting himself be distracted by the other girls who practically worshipped him.

So why stay with Lily when he could have easily had any girl in Hogwarts?

But Remus already knew the answer to that, of course. James Potter loved a challenge.

Remus needed to find Lily, and fast. He needed to talk with her.

"Lily! Lily!" He ran down the halls, calling her name and looking everywhere. "Lily?"

"Lupin," a voice called from behind him. Remus stopped. It wasn't Lily's voice.

"S-Severus, nice to see you…"

The greasy-haired boy sniffed. "I need to speak with you, Lupin."

"I-uh… about what?"

"It's just a warning." Snape paused. "In no way am I going to be 'okay' with Lily and Potter's relationship. I won't give up on her; I'll just have you know."

Remus looked confused. "Where is this going?"

"More than anything, Remus, I want to see Lily happy. And… well… If he breaks her heart, just let him know that I'll break every bone in his body and make sure they can never heal."

Remus blinked. Slowly, a smile etched across his features. "I will, Severus. Thank you, that… means a lot, coming from you."

Snape sniffed. "I still hate his guts, and yours, just so you know."

"I know, Severus," Remus said, still smiling, "I won't forget, don't worry."

"She went that way," Severus said, pointing to another hall. Remus rushed down it quickly.

"Lily! Oh, please just listen, Lily!" Remus sighed in relief when he found her sitting on a stone bench in a secluded corridor.

"I- Remus?" The red-haired witch glared at him slightly, but it didn't hide the fact that her eyes were red. "Please, I don't really feel like talking, Remus."

"I know Lily, so you're going to listen to me."

He told her everything. Why James acted the way he did, why James was a Marauder in the first place, why James loved her.

And she believed it. In the end, Remus knew she took every word to heart.

"Thank you Remus, for everything," she said, dabbing at her eyes with the handkerchief he had offered her. "I-I think I know what to do now."

Remus put on his trademark grin, the one that everyone knew made him a Marauder. There was only one last thing to do.


	17. Chapter 15

A/N: TA DA! IT'S THE END!

I know you're sad, and a lot of you seemed kind of upset at the last chapter (I'm so sorry Snape was OOC!), but I already have a new story idea that I'm sure a lot of you will love!

So, read on my cabbages, and remember to always look on the bright side of life (and review)!

Chapter 15

The Gryffindor Common Room was empty except for four silhouettes that stood by the fire. Well, five, if you counted Peter, but no one really did.

Lily was speaking with James. Remus and Sirius (and Peter, but again, no one cares) sat on the nearest couch, trying to look busy but secretly listening to their conversation.

"James," Lily started, her voice terse. "I… I want to apologize."

James looked up at her slowly, hope already shining in his eyes. Remus smiled. _That_ was the James he knew, the one that never _truly_ gave up. "Apologize for what?"

"I…" Lily took a deep breath, like it was actually painful to do this. "I want to say that I'm sorry for being so mean to you. It's just that… you were very annoying, you do realize that, right? Always popping up everywhere and never leaving me alone…"

"I liked you, Lily."

The red-head winced at the past tense form of 'like'. "Do you _still _like me?"

James paused. Uncertainty flashed in his eyes, and Remus automatically knew, as a result of being friends with James for what seemed like an eternity, that James was afraid. James had thought about being with Lily since the day he had first laid eyes on her, but it had only ever happened in his dreams.

Sure enough, James was pinching himself on the arm right now, like he was trying to wake himself up.

"What are you doing, James?" Lily asked quietly.

"I just know this is a dream. This has happened before, a million times, but only in my dreams. Just look! I'll lean over to kiss you or something and then Sirius will turn into a giant lobster and eat me!"

"I would not!" Sirius said indignantly, before clamping a hand over his mouth. "Woops."

"We already knew you were there, Pads," James said, a smile on his lips. "You too, Moony." He paused. "And you, Wormtail."

Peter scrunched up his nose. "But it was getting to the good part!"

Lily laughed behind her hand, before turning back to James. "Well, Potter. I can assure you this is no dream."

James blinked. "You called me James."

"What?"

"Earlier. You called me James earlier."

Lily nodded slowly. "Yes, I suppose I did."

"I… I liked it." A faint blush appeared on James' cheeks.

Lily's face was pink as well. "I sort of… liked it to."

"Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss—"

"That's enough, Sirius," Remus scolded, smacking his friend's head with one of the many books he always carried.

"Sorry," Sirius said, a smile still etched on his face. Lily and James were both blushing a brilliant red now.

"Sh-Should we… you know," James asked, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

"I-I suppose we should. You know. For Black." Lily leaned in closer to James and pressed her lips to his.

James, who was already red, flushed a bright tomato color from his ears to his neck. Lily pulled back and laughed slightly when she saw it.

"I-I-I-" James started, but he couldn't seem to string words together. "You're pretty."

The four of them (including Peter, minus James) burst out laughing. Lily ruffled James's already tousled hair.

"I think you're pretty too, James."

James Potter's smile never left his face once that night. Not even when Sirius spilled some smuggled butterbeer on his robes, or Remus scolded him for almost giving up on Lily.

Because the whole time, Lily was holding his hand.


	18. Epilogue

A/N: Thanks again for reading this everyone! I appreciated all your reviews, faves, and support!

Seriously, guys, you kept this story alive, so give yourself a nice pat on the back right now.

Wishing you lots of peace and safety from evil leprechauns, this is ExplodingWeekend. Thanks for reading, my dear… er, readers. Yeah.

Epilogue

"Do you think the school is confused, Moony?"

Remus stepped onto one of the moving staircases and looked at Sirius, confused. "Why would it be confused?"

"Well, obviously the students are confused. I mean, Lily and James's reputations are infamous. Everyone knows that Lily hates James and James loves Lily. So now that Lily _loves_ James and James still loves Lily, do you think that the good people of Hogwarts will still love us? I mean, Lily might keep James from pranks! And you never really approved of pranking either, and… OH MY GOD I'M SINGLE!" Sirius screamed out.

"Padfoot, what are you talking about?"

"I JUST REALIZED!" Sirius lowered his voice, but not by much. "I mean, YOU have a date with some evil girl that Lily doesn't like for some strange reason, and now JAMES has got LILY! And who do I have? PETER?"

"Sirius, calm down. Besides, Lily doesn't like Violet at all, so I might not go out with her anyways."

"Why doesn't Lily like her?" Sirius appeared to have calmed down a bit.

Remus shrugged. "I think Violet was almost placed in Slytherin or something. And she was apparently very mean to Lily as a child."

"Oh. She sounds like a b—"

"Padfoot!"

"WHAT? I was going to say brat. _Brat_." Sirius huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. "We still have a crisis on our hands."

"What's that?"

"I'M SINGLE MOONY! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW BAD THAT IS?"

"What will happen, Sirius? Will a zombie apocalypse befall the school if you do not get yourself a girlfriend in five minutes?"

Sirius nodded enthusiastically. "Exactly, Moony. So for the sake of Hogwarts, I must get a girl!"

Remus smiled. "Well then. I guess we'd better think of a very clever plan to get you a girlfriend."

Sirius linked arms with Remus. "Yes, Moony. I guess we'd better. But it should be very, _very_ clever. Because last time, just 'very clever' didn't work out so well."

"Okay, Padfoot. It will be very, _very_ clever." Remus shook his head at Sirius's childish ways.

And for the billionth time that week, he was glad that he had such great friends.

THE END!


End file.
